Thursday, 31 May 2012

Going ahead with the Re Write! Episode 1 Complete.

After having positive feedback about the new writing style, I've gone ahead and re-written Episode 1 of Crux!

Here it is if anyone wants to recap. It's got a little more detail to it as well.

Thanks to everyone who responded :) I'm looking forward to going forward with new chapters soon!

Edit: Episode 2 updated as well!


Edit 2: And Episode 3 is done and dusted too. So on with the chapter I'll go!


Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Crux - Episode 4

 Here's the first snippet of episode 4, in the new format. I'd really like people's feedback on this, as if the format isn't liked then I'll simply not bother writing any more. If it is liked, I'll post up the rest of this chapter asap!
At Bic Coffee House


“I’m glad we came out for breakfast.” Lewis smiled at Blake. “Y’know… after the other day and everything.”
He laughed nervously, remembering his sibling’s fight. Blake simply nodded, his scrutinizing stare not once faltering. Lewis never seemed to notice the stare (which some people would have said was really a glare), as if he were immune to it.  He carried on as usual, filling in the silence with ramblings as he always did.
“Yeah, and It’s such a nice morning too! Look, you can see the sun coming up over the beach.” Lewis pointed, and Blake glanced over in the direction, if only because Lewis would keep annoying him until he did. “And all the birds flying around. Do you think they’re watching the sun too? Can birds see in colour?” 
Lewis stopped for a second, his face scrunching up comically as he thought. Blake took the rare moment of peace to take a sip of his coffee and admire the horizon. Yes, it was a beautiful morning.
“I wonder what it would be like to see in black and white?” Lewis babbled on, making less and less sense as he did so.

 Blake glanced over at Lewis, who was amusing himself tilting his head backwards and forwards, blinking and staring up at the sky, probably trying to work out how to see in black and white himself. Blake smiled wryly and opened up the newspaper he’d bought with him, ready to look for one column in particular. But his eyes narrowed as they caught an article on the front page. Maybe he wouldn’t have to search through the paper after all.
He was so engrossed with the article that he almost didn’t sense someone walking up behind him. But they managed to knock into a table, sending a small plant pot over the edge. It landed with a dull thud near Blake’s feet.
“Hey Rhys.” Lewis greeted casually, lounging in his chair and sucking on a biscuit.
“Hey! Hey.” 

Rhys had the same nervous disposition as when Blake had first met him. He was rubbing his hands together, eyes darting around as he went to pick up the plant, only to stop and stand up again. He did this a few times, Blake’s eyes narrowing as he watched, before Rhys gave up – realizing he had nothing but his hands to scoop the stray earth back into the plant pot. He finally took the plant and placed it on the near table, firmly, as if it might topple again. With his shoes he scraped at the small pile of dirt, perhaps trying to lessen the appearance of it by spreading it out. It just got worse.  Rhys straightened and looked up at Blake.
“Sorry.” He grimaced.
“No harm done.” Blake was still watching Rhys, his eyes curious.
Rhys forced a smile. “I’m such an idiot. Not that I can do anything to make Samud hate me anymore, I guess.” He laughed nervously, then stopped and hunched down. “He is inside, isn’t he?”  Rhys hissed, and looked between Blake and Lewis. “I think he might actually kill me if he found me here.”
“He’s inside.” Blake affirmed.
Lewis nodded, and ‘mmhmm’d, his mouth now full of biscuit. He motioned that he was going to fetch his own coffee.
“Good, good. Anyway, I saw you, and heh, I’ve actually got my wallet on me.” Rhys took it out of his jeans pocket. “I was wondering when I was going to pay you back. Where I was gonna find you. ” He handed the owed money over. “I’m so sorry about the other day. The kids had taken my wallet out of my pocket, they can be a right handful sometimes. But finally they’re spending the weekend at their Mum’s.” Rhys grinned widely, a real smile. “You were a lifesaver though. It’s Blake, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Blake still seemed to be studying Rhys.

He folded his newspaper back in half, catching Rhys’ attention.
“Whatcha’ reading? Anything interesting?” Rhys leaned on the table after glancing at the coffee house door, still keeping a look out for Samud.
“An interesting article, actually.” Blake’s eyes moved to the paper and he smoothed the creases out of it with his hand. “About the disappearances of two people. The writer has many theories about what really happened to these people - Michaela Wright and Jack Cook.” Blake paused.
Rhys’ hand had recoiled from the table as if it was burning hot at the mention of the names. He was visibly disturbed - shaking a little, his eyes wide and not able to meet anyone Blake’s.
Blake continued, “The writer suggested that they were involved, and perhaps eloped… so to say. Or even that Jack Cook is to blame for the girl’s disappearance.”

He looked up at Rhys, watching.
“No.” Rhy’s face was wracked with confusion, “No, that’s not true! That’s not why he left!” He seemed to be speaking to himself, lost in thought, but he looked to Blake and realized he was speaking aloud. Backing away slowly, Rhys then whirled around and ran off down the street in an alarming manner.
Blake watched until Rhys was out of sight, and continued staring in the direction, his eyes narrowed as he thought.
“You’ll never guess what!” Lewis bounded into his seat, flinging a drink onto the table with such a force that most of it spilled over the edge. Lewis quickly wiped the escaping whipped cream off the side of the cup before continuing. “Samud has brownies and cinnamon pastries! I couldn’t decide so I got both!”
“Really.” Blake’s tone gave away his amusement, a smirk playing at the edges of his lips. He neatly moved the newspaper out of the path of spilled coffee.
“Lewis,” Blake waited for him to finish licking the drink from the side of the cup, “Was Rhys friends with this… Jack Cook?” He motioned to the newspaper article.
After a gulp of whipped cream, Lewis piped up, “Oh yeah. They were almost inseparable. I mean, Jack wasn’t as bad as a lot of people make him out to be.” Lewis chewed on his chocolate flake thoughtfully.
“He was scum, and everyone round here knows it.” 
Samud glared at Lewis as he placed his orders down on the table. Lewis withered a little under the glare, obviously uncomfortable.
“He put my brother in a wheelchair.” Samud continued bitterly.
“Well, I mean, uh,” Lewis spoke timidly, “really, I mean, I heard it was, uh, drugs.” He smiled apologetically at Samud, still cowering in his seat.
“It was Jack’s fault.” Samud returned firmly, Lewis fidgeting under his gaze.
“Did this Jack Cook force your brother to take the drugs, then?” Blake asked cooly. “Otherwise your brother would at least be partly to blame for his own actions.”
Samud seemed to swell with rage at the notion that this stranger to the town would ask such questions. His eyes burned like fire.

A movement to the side distracted him, and as Samud noticed who it was he smiled a victorious smile.
“Just ask Malachi. He knows it was Jack’s fault.” Samud waited expectantly.
Malachi eyes the group much like a deer eyed the headlights of an oncoming car. His wide eyes couldn’t quite meet Samud’s, and without a word the man darted off. Not quite running, Malachi ignored Samud’s shouts of confusion. Samud walked after him a bit before giving up.
“I told you he was weird.” Lewis nudged Blake. “But this cinnamon whirl is delicious!”
Blake nodded slowly and folded the newspaper beside him up, his fingers lingering over some of the text, and looked up in the direction where Rhys had disappeared, deep in thought.

- - -

And so concludes part 1 of this chapter. As I said, if people are happy with the format, I'll continue Crux like this for now. I may even write alternatives for the first 3 chapters, also formatted like this.

Hope there are people out there that liked it :) And that my writing wasn't too bad!

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Crux - Competition


I've been thinking about holding a competition to do with Crux since it started.

It's probably obvious from the storyline that there's a mystery to do with Michaela Wright and Jack Cook. The competition would simply be just to guess what the mystery is. As in, what happened to the two characters, if anyone else was involved, etc. Readers would have one guess per episode as new clues are revealed, with their latest guess cancelling out any previous guesses they'd made.

The winner would be the first to guess correctly. The prize would be simpoints, and a sim request if the winner wanted. The winner wouldn't be told that they had won until the end of the story, so the plot wouldn't be spoiled for them!

Anyone interested? ;)